Doomed to Blindness: Conversations on Jane Austen’s “Emma”

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 Lauren: okay ready betty!

Becky: This movie is almost 20 years old. The 90’s do NOT seem that long ago!
Lauren: i really love the opening credits! i can’t believe that it’s that old.
Becky: It hasn’t aged at all. Period pieces rarely do. Especially awesome ones like this.
Lauren: Yes indeed!!! Hard to believe it came out only a year after Clueless…
Becky: Mr. Woodhouse is so cute, but his hypochondriac persona would get old so fast. Emma is so much more excited to see Mr. Knightley than Cher ever was to see Josh.
Lauren: Very true…I swear this is one of those movies that you watch for everyone but Gwyenth Paltrow
Becky: Totally is! I watch because Jeremy Northam has a dreamy smile. Casting perfection.

Dreamy Smile

Lauren: I KNOW!
Becky: He’s supposed to be 18 years older than her. And yet their relationship works.
Lauren: He’s MY Mr. Knightley
Becky: lol
Lauren: Yeah their relationship really does. He’s definitely my favorite Austen man. But there are so many to choose from
Becky: I honestly think I like them all almost equally. But it’s a tie between him and Darcy.
Lauren: I love that he calls her out
Becky: Dang. Mr. Elton is SUCH a sycophantic suck up. *barfs* I actually kind of like Miss Bates. She’s a lonely lady with a deaf mother. She’s sweet.

Mrs. and Miss Bates as portrayed by Phyllida Law and Sophie Thompson, mother and sister of Emma Thompson

Lauren: I don’t understand how she didn’t see how Elton was into her. She is  ‘doomed to blindness’ #austenquoteforthewin
Becky: Nice. 🙂 Robert and Harriet are cute. I don’t care what Emma thinks.

Just keep ignoring Emma….

Lauren: They are adorable together. Emma’s a snob though. I want her outdoor tent.
Becky: I do, too.
Lauren: I love this locale too…God bless, Knightley. He keeps her humble. HAHA!
Becky: Drawing her to the Height of her Character. Liberal Arts student, that Mr. Elton.

“You’ve Drawn Her Too Tall”

Lauren: Haha! Indeed…he really is insufferable. Emma, stop meddling! Oof.
Becky: How things might’ve changed if She’d just let Harriet marry Robert Martin.
Lauren: Right?! But then we may have never gotten the ‘Rode Thru The Rain’ speech
Becky: True. *swoon* Oof. Harriet, stop fishing for an approved answer!
Lauren: YES!!! Go with your heart, girlfriend! I love this scene!
Becky: I think Mr. Elton was talking up the accomplishments of Miss Woodhouse, and what a fine painter she is.
Lauren: Oh absolutely.
Becky: Emma and Knightley, rocking archery since 1815.

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Lauren: Well, Knightley at least… And Emma until she almost hits his dog…
Becky: She WROTE Harriet’s answer! You scold her! Make her a better character, Knightley!
Lauren: Indeed! (Then she finds out what Harriet’s true parentage is)
Becky: “Vanity working on a weak mind…” brilliant quote.
Lauren: Try not to kill my dogs! Haha!
Becky: He smiles at her when she accidentally aims at his dogs. Even though he’s annoyed, he loves fighting with her.
Lauren: He thinks she’s adorable. Yeah he does. Because he considers her his equal. And everything he does is to make her better.
Becky: Everything points to Elton being in love with her. I really hope I’m not that obtuse, but I know I am.
Lauren: And again we say: DOOMED TO BLINDNESS
Becky: I facepalm through a LOT of Emma’s behavior early in this movie. And then Harriet’s an airhead.

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Lauren: ‘You’ve finally found someone even more Clueless than you to worship you.’
Becky: Such a fitting quote. I’ve never been that excited about a vegetable. Celery root…
Lauren: HAHA! Right?! If you’re going to get excited about a veggie, at least get excited about something like turnips or eggplant
Becky: I think John and Isabella Knightley had about five kids, two of which were named after Mr. (George) Knightley and Emma. Cuteness!
Lauren: Jeremy Northam’s cuter than a monkey with a puppy… Adorable!
Becky: How’d they get Mr. Woodhouse out of the house in snow? Isn’t he worried about catching cold?
Lauren: You’d think! She’s like SHUT UP ELTON
Becky: I’m trying to gossip, dude!
Lauren: I mean like, duh!
Becky: It seems like Mr. Weston always has young ladies around him. Or maybe I’m just thinking of this scene…
Lauren: I never noticed that before, but I can understand that. They always seem to have the most glorious feasts.
Becky: At least Emma gets an Elton Reprieve during dinner. But POST dinner, he wheedles himself between Knightley and Emma. Knightley has the best expressions here. He smiles at Emma, but has an agreeable face with KNightley!
Lauren: He totally does! He’s trying so hard not to laugh

An adoring gaze and a teasing gaze. Oh, boys…

Becky: Or, Elton, rather. LOL Moment of hard truth coming up here…
Lauren: So FORWARD! *groans*
Becky: AWKWARD!
Lauren: Headbutt him, girlfriend. No means NO
Becky: How epic would that be? It’d be like that Jane Austen Fight Club from YouTube!
Lauren: SO EPIC. ‘You are a snob and a half’
Becky: Ugh. “Everybody has their level.” The way he say that. Such a smarmy bastard! Great minds, twinny…
Lauren: Indeed
Becky: And the rest of the carriage ride was the most awkward think in the world.
Lauren: Oh yeah.
Becky: Mrs. Weston has such great sense. I’d love her for an aunt.
Lauren: Yeah she does. She’s very practical and very down-to-earth. PUPPIES!!!!!!!

Puppies can’t help but lift the spirits.

Becky: I don’t think Tai felt the same about it as Harriet. Harriet was sad, and went through her own version of mourning, but I kind of wonder if Tai didn’t blame Cher until she got back with Travis.
So cute! I want one!
Lauren: Yeah such a good point. I never thought of it like it before. I want one too!!
Becky: I always found it sad that Emma never befriended Jane Fairfax. They could’ve been good friends. Did she hate her just because she was related to Miss Bates?
Lauren: Emma was jealous of her though.
Becky: Totally was. She was much more accomplished, and not nearly as wealthy.
Lauren: I think she saw her as a rival before they met.
Becky: They’ve actually known each other all their lives, in the book, at least.
Lauren: Ah!
Becky: And according to Wikipedia, Mrs. Elton’s obsession with Jane Fairfax is supposed to mimic Emma’s obsession with Harriet.
Lauren: I can see that.
Becky: That never occurred to me, and when I read it, it opened doors.
Lauren: And Knightley nails it…’she takes attention away from you’
Becky: *nods* Smart smart man, that Knightley.
Lauren: That he is…
Becky: Harriet would’ve been better off to spend more of her time with Elizabeth Martin instead of Emma.
Lauren: Oh without a doubt.
Becky: I love Robert Martin and Harriet. He uses his hat as an umbrella for her! Chivalry was quite alive and well in 1815.
Lauren: Oh yes it was! I miss those days. Hehe…
Becky: In your previous life? lol
Lauren: Yes. Haha! Here comes Frank!

Guy rides in on a white horse. Seriously.

Becky: Darker forces. I love that.
Lauren: You’ll just have to live here then.
Becky: He’s such a smart ass.
Lauren: Just typing that!!!!! I love our mojo!
Becky: Me too! Jane is such a saint to forgive him for all the crap he puts her through.
Lauren: Yeah she is! It’s been so long since I’ve seen this, but did Frank send Jane the pianoforte?
Becky: Yeah. Plying her for her silence, I’m guessing.
Lauren: I should have remembered that.
Becky: Frank is an evil man. But he’s charming, unlike Mr. Elton, so we can easily forgive him.
Lauren: Indeed. He’s a charming wanktard.
Becky: Mrs. Weston hit it on the nose, but with the wrong couple. They keep apart to keep up appearances.
Lauren: Yep indeed.
Becky: Emma’s okay, but she really shines when Frank sings over her. And Mr. Knightley scowls. Mwah ha ha!

Wish I lived in the days of musical duets for evening entertainment.

Lauren: Yeah seriously! He’s a very sad panda.
Becky: He’s sitting there pouting now. LMAO
Lauren: Hehehehe!!!
Becky: I like Jane’s dress.
Lauren: And now Emma’s pouting.
Becky: And Knightley is smiling. Wickedly. Dang, he’s adorable!

So cute.

Lauren: Yep. He really is.
Becky: This isn’t the best song for Ewan MacGregor. He sounds like a cat.
Lauren: His hair is so goofy in this movie.
Becky: Very foppish
Lauren: Great word!
Becky: Oh, Lord. Augusta Elton. Most annoying woman in ALL of Austen.

Totally deserve each other.

Lauren: Oh Mrs. Elton. Those two deserve each other. Yeah she’s ridiculous.
Becky: They totally do. She and Emma make each other twitchy.
Lauren: Oh absolutely!
Becky: She’s such a know-it-all. She’s almost as insufferable as Lydia Bennett. Actually, she’s Lydia, ten years older.
Lauren: I love Emma’s dress. She TOTALLY IS!
Becky: If each town had more than one church, you KNOW Emma would’ve switched. This chapter could be called the day of awkward silences.
Lauren: HAHA. I just want to kind of punch her in the face.
Becky: Knightley? The way Emma says it. Lord…
Lauren: I know right? Charity work in a mental infirmary.
Becky: I wonder if she’s not being a little hard, but she’s basically the mirror image of Emma.
Lauren: Such a great burn

Becky: With Mrs. Weston and Emma planning Knightley’s future, I have this Dr. Horrible mash up of him going, “Look at my wrist! It’s time to go!”
Lauren: Haha! I wish there was a meme of that.

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Becky: The Ball! I love the ball!
Lauren: Do you think Mrs. Weston knows how Knightley feels about Emma?
Becky: No. She wants Emma to be with Frank, so she’s probably purposely not looking for it. Thankfully, Emma’s not as condescending to Harriet as Mrs. Elton is to Jane. She was slapping her hand like a child!
Lauren: Exactly!!! So presumptuous!
Becky: Emma! Not Harriet and Frank! Back off!
Lauren: And again, *facepalm*
Becky: I love the cinematography of this scene. Knightley just wants to be where it’s cozy, and his massive house is behind them. LOL

Emma

Lauren: Right?! I was just thinking that
Becky: Nope. Mr. Weston is surrounded by young ladies again.
Lauren: Totally!!
Becky: And everyone disperses before the Eltons arrive. LOL
Lauren: This scene is totally one of my very favorites in the whole movie. Knightley.
Becky: Hate Elton. And his smarmy face.
Lauren: Indeed. Douchenoodle.
Becky: Totally. In the big Ball scene in the 95 P&P, they had to pour Coke on the floor because the floor was too slippery, and everyone kept skidding. Knightley has such a good heart.
Lauren: Haha! I never knew that. He does. He’s a true gentleman
Becky: 2nd Best part.
Lauren: Yes!!! This whole part!
Becky: Do you remember being 22? I was an idiot. How about you?
Lauren: Cue the Taylor Swift song! And yes I totally was.
Becky: He’s so hopeful! So cute!
Lauren: Indeed we are not!
Becky: LOL I want to learn these dances.
Lauren: Me TOO!
Becky: Now Harriet’s dancing with Frank. Knightley set the stage for the rest of the night. Trendsetter.
Lauren: He totally did renaissance man!

Oh that we still had classy dances.

Becky: I’m no judge of history, but I always thought the gypsy scene was a little contrived. Did gypsies really maul people like that?
Lauren: I always did too
Becky: I mean, with Big Fat Gypsy Wedding on TLC, I can see it, but all through history?
Lauren: Yeah I think it was slightly ridiculous…
Becky: Strawberry Picking!

Lauren: Oh this part always makes me cringe.
Becky: Emma is horrible, and Knightley calls her out. Frank brings out the worst in her, whereas Knightley brings out the best. Did Jane ASK to be “Protected”? Ugh! Back off, Augusta!
Lauren: Yep exactly. And I’m very glad he does. Knightley, that is. And yes, Augusta is an idiot.
Becky: She totally gave Emma the stink eye.
Lauren: Good Lord
Becky: Heartbreak now. Poor Miss Bates.
Lauren: So mean! I want to give her a hug.
Becky: Me too! And Knightley to the Rescue!
Lauren: Indeed!! He’s the best!

Badly done, Emma! Badly done! *wibble*

Becky: There it is. Knife…heart…twist…
Lauren: Yep!!! And she so needed to hear it.
Becky: More people need to be brave enough to put others in their place so they can learn to treat people well, no matter who they are.
Lauren: Absolutely agree.
Becky: Miss Bates knew her place, and Emma made her sink even lower. Need to bring people up.
Lauren: He hit the nail on the head when he told her that people looked to her as to act. She abused that power.
Becky: Totally did. I love how wise he is. And he does it because he loves her, and wants her to be the best Emma she could possibly be.
Lauren: Exactly.
Becky: In these movies, when the truth comes out (Like Frank and Jane’s Engagement), it always seems like a big surprise, but then when you go back, it’s always there, and so obvious early on. Like Knightley’s dreamy looks and glances toward Emma. “He is benefitting from a very lucky coincidence!” I love that. lol

 

No, really. Not in love with Frank. Lucky for him.

Laure: Oh yeah absolutely! You can tell how smitten he is and how well he thinks of her. I love that line too. And here it comes. Realization time…
Becky: She’s a virgin who can’t drive.

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Lauren: HAHA! Way harsh. I love him so dearly, so greatly.
Becky: I hate to say this, considering how we both feel about Gwyneth Paltrow, but I don’t see Gwyneth. I see all Emma.
Lauren: She is actually is pretty decent in this movie.
Becky: I think I’d just want to smack her in real life. She’s not a bad actress.
Lauren: Yeah. Absolutely. She just seems so pretentious
Becky: “I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.” If only more people acted that way.
Lauren: Right?! Love makes fools of us all. SPEECH IS COMING UP!
Becky: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lauren: I rode through the rain…I’d ride through worse if I could just hear your voice telling me I’d have some chance to win you.
Becky: *Swoon*.

” I rode through the rain! I’d – I’d ride through worse than that if I could just hear your voice telling me that I might, at least, have some chance to win you.” *Swoon*

Lauren: I just love it so much!
Becky: Nice segue, Emma.
Lauren: Eeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! Just stop talking, Emma!!!!
Becky: His brokenhearted face!
Lauren: Right?! I just want to hug him!!!!
Becky: Here it comes… Damn, he’s cute!
Lauren: Oh I know. He’s so damn cute. The FEELS!!!!!
Becky: *fans self while weeping*
Lauren: ^THIS.
Becky: Rachel Portman rocked this score out. So gorgeous.
Lauren: Yeah she did!!! MY Mr. Knightley
Becky: Poor Harriet. She got so screwed in this movie.
Lauren: Yeah she did.
Becky: At least she finally got some sense, and married Robert Martin. I hope she never felt like she was settling.I mean, she loved him all along, but she changes her mind so easily.
Lauren: I think that she really cared about Robert. I think they were happy together. Yeah she did.
Becky: Me too
Lauren: She’s very mercurial
Becky: Good word for it. I’ve seen Emma’s wedding dress up close.

And they all lived Happily Ever After

Lauren: However it’s sad that they were never quite as close after that…I bet it was stunning to see
Becky: Emma and Harriet? They were probably too busy being wives. It was. My mom was stunned I knew what I was looking at without the Page thing at the museum.
Lauren: And they didn’t run in the same social classes…
Becky: True. But being good friends, and their husbands were good friends, I’m sure they could have.
Lauren: That’s a good point. Such a good movie! Glad we chose this as our second one
Becky: Me too! Especially as it’s so close to Clueless.

Thanks for watching with us! Before we bid you good night, check out the fail that is the trailer. Mr. Knightley’s first name is George, his younger brother is John.

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